“And sorry I could not travel both
And be one traveler, long I stood
And looked down one as far as I could”
* - three distinct paths, maybe other non-distinct paths, too. Maybe it’s many. I dunno (yet). Really it’s just a lot of potential paths, I guess.
I keep trying to leave the DC area. Maybe 2020 will be the year that it happens. Right now, I have two fairly firm options to grip onto as I hoist myself up and away from the gravity of family and history and past obligation. One is less certain than the other. But either way, within a few weeks, I’ll know for where my trajectory will land me.
Top billing, I have an interview for a position at a newly opened office in Lakewood, CO. Just outside of Denver proper. It’s a Tier I IT position, but with an established, fairly large-sized company (not a startup or small 10-20 person shop). From what I can tell, they have a good tech/user ratio, solid support processes in place, and an established business model. It’s likely a very stable opportunity, and I am grateful that I have friends who thought of me for the position. With their recommendations, I managed to schedule an in-person interview in just a few short days after initial contact. That feels great, especially considering that in 2018 and 19, I sent out over 80 resumes/applications and got called back maybe 4 times, with no in-person interviews coming from those apps.
Next to that, I have something like a second home that I could travel to, in Cornelius, OR. Just outside of Portland. A meager service job with the possibility of advancement is open for me- with few real demands other than a schedule. I hate to give this one a backseat, but the other opportunity came up just as I was finalizing plans to leave for Cornelius in mid-January. Still, this option is there, and I am just as keen for what it may bring as a full-fledged, full-time position (one that comes standard with all the good good benes that I desperately need- health insurance, most notably).
I’m hesitant to write too much about this. To offer too many details. Not that they’re meant to be private, or secure in some way. I just don’t want to jinx it. I don’t want to predict or plan too far ahead. Either and or both could fall apart. I don’t relish the idea of having walked partway down either path, only to find out that I need to trudge back to the start…
Which leads to the myriad other paths. Folks have offered up options of various couches and opportunities. Which I may well explore out of necessity.
I also don’t want to write off the momentum I’ve built with my own art. Through some wonderful feedback and support, I’ve been able to eek out enough to be able to confidently plan the ability to move for either opportunity. I won’t have to abandon art supplies or infrastructure, and I can keep up with my plans to sell art once again at GCX2020, and possibly some other events…
Things are moving forward. Slowly, thanks to the reduced pace attributable to the well-deserved breaks of many involved. It even feels oddly like respite on my end, as the anxieties I’ve been wrestling with are lifted, one by one...
In less than 10 days, a flag will start to raise, and I will mark my map for an immense journey. I can’t wait to see what’s along the waypoints.
“And both that morning equally lay
In leaves no step had trodden black.”
I have to heed my own advice. I have to remember to let go, or be dragged. I have to remember that I can’t give up. There’s a big world out there, and lots of time and place to find a new optimal.
“I shall be telling this with a sigh
Somewhere ages and ages hence:
Two roads diverged in a wood, and I—”
I’ll just have to head down one, and see for myself.